The following poem may be disturbing to some readers. The examples given are fictional.
Some people seem to have everything we want and don’t have. We might not be eager to change places with them if we knew their secret heartaches.
Many people have problems we don’t know about that would explain their negative behavior. Some may need professional help in solving their problems. Others could benefit from just a little kindness and understanding. Judging them isn’t helpful.
Although people must be held accountable for their actions, some circumstances call for a little leniency. Everyone accused of a crime deserves due process.
The Benefit of the Doubt
Give everyone you encounter
the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t know all their circumstances,
and maybe you’ll never find out!
The woman who wears too much makeup
may be trying to hide
bumps and bruises inflicted
by her drunken husband last night.
That student who sleeps in school
may have spent the night
listening to his mother and her boyfriend
have a knock-down, drag-out fight.
That girl who weighs too much
may be comforting herself with food
over nightmares of childhood abuse,
and diets don’t do any good.
The boy who robbed the liquor store
has never harmed a fly.
He may be raising money for treatments
and hoping his mother won’t die.
That guy who brews your coffee
may be sleeping in his car
and feeding an addiction that takes
all he earns at the coffee bar.
The man who hanged himself
maybe hadn’t figured out yet
any way to repay the bookie
an overdue gambling debt.
Give everyone you encounter
the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t know all their circumstances,
and maybe you’ll never find out.
Copyright© 2020 by Cheryl Batavia
Hard-hitting poem, Cheryl. True words. Thanks for sharing.
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Ramya, I am so glad you liked the poem. I was concerned about how it would be received. ❤ Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts. Have a great day! Cheryl
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It was really good, Cheryl. The happenings in this world are sometimes gorier than you’ve portrayed. I loved how your poem have conveyed them in a beautiful way.
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Ramya, it is so true that events are often much “gorier.” I tried to communicate the ideas without being too graphic. This poem is a little darker than what I usually write, but it is one of those poems that woke me up in the middle of the night. Thank you again for your kind comments. ❤
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Very heartfelt, Cheryl. We are so quick to jump to conclusions without realising the circumstances of the other person.
Your empathy shines. ❤️
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Punam, Thank you so much for your kind comments. ❤ I hesitated to post this. It means a lot to me that you like it.
Have a great day! Cheryl
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You are welcome, Cheryl. There is nothing in it that should offend anyone. Take care. ❤️
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This is really good, Cheryl. There was a quote I’d read the other day : “Understand this: You can sound confident and have anxiety. You can look healthy but feel like shit. You can look happy and be miserable inside. You can be good looking and feel ugly. So be kind, because every person is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” -Unknown
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Great quote! Thank you for sharing it. ❤ So glad you liked the poem. 🙂 All the best!
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Heartbreaking. And you penned it beautifully Cheryl. There is lot from here. Thanks for sharing 💕💕
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Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts. ❤ When I was teaching in inner-city schools, the more I learned about my students' problems, the easier it became to understand their behavior. The first year I taught, I had nightmares about it. Although we can never know everything about another person, I think it is worthwhile to try to understand. Take care, Cheryl
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A heart-touching poem, dear Cheryl. And it’s true, we don’t know the other side of the story, and everyone is not the same. Thank you for sharing 🌹
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Thank you, Diana, for your insightful comment. ❤ I like that you pointed out that "everyone is not the same." That is probably the main reason why it is so difficult to understand others. I think that understanding a person with problems is the first step in getting them the help they need. Have a great day! Cheryl 🙂
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That’s Hard Hitting But I Don’t Think Every Thing Can Be Justified In That Way
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Thank you, Pankanzy for your thoughtful comment. I totally agree that not everything can be justified by understanding why people behave as they do. ❤ As I said in the introduction, people must be held accountable for their actions. Empathy is helpful to the person whose behaviors are problematic, but it is even more beneficial to us. Empathy frees us from our own negative feelings toward others.
All the best! Cheryl
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Beautiful Cheryl. A powerful message delivered with such heart. Our snap judgments are almost always wrong. No one knows another persons true story. Forgiveness, compassion and understanding are the way forward. Always. Thanks Cheryl. Wishing you well 🙏
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Thank you, AP. Your kind and perceptive comments are deeply appreciated. ❤ Indeed, "forgiveness, compassion, and understanding are the way forward!" Take care, Cheryl
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Hard hitting poem Cheryl. Yes, very true. We are all fighting our own battles. Its good not to be judgmental. Have a wonderful week ahead. ❤ !
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Thank you, Radhika for your kind and thoughtful remarks. I appreciate your support. ❤ Enjoy your week as well. Cheryl
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Beautifully captured Cheryl. We know so little. We judge so quickly 😌
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Thank you so much, Ashok, for your kind comment. ❤ I am glad you enjoyed the poem. Take care, Cheryl
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My pleasure my dear friend 💖🤗
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We are not here to judge
We are here to share the chocolate fudge …
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Ivor, what a delicious perspective! Thank you for your kind comment. ❤ It means a lot to me that you like the poem.
Hope you are well and happy enjoying the spring weather. Cheryl
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Thank you Cheryl. Spring is slowly warming up 💙🌏
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💕
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Thank you for reading and commenting, Eliza. ❤ I am glad you liked the poem. 🙂 All the best! Cheryl
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I did! Though the heart was for the fudge ice cream…
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Very powerful social comment Cheryl … we are all too ready to judge yet we know it’s not fair! A timely reminder that we don’t know others despair 😦
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Kate, your thoughtful comment makes my day! ❤ I am so glad you like the poem. Take care, Cheryl
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This is great, Cheryl. You’re absolutely right to challenge us like this and it’s a great reminder not to judge by just what one sees on the surface. No one knows another’s pain.
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Chris, Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. ❤ I am so glad you liked the poem. All the best! Cheryl
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That’s such a powerful poem. Unfortunately we’re too quick to judge rather than understand what one could be going through. An absolutely poignant write.
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Thank you, D, for sharing your kind thoughts. ❤ It makes me happy that you like the poem. 🙂
All the best! Cheryl
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Heyyy Cheryl!! The poem has a great voice!! It so true.. we shouldn’t make assumptions about others and judge them wrongly! Glad you shared it, take care my friend
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Thank you for your kind comments, Seamless Echo! It means a lot that you took the time to read and respond! ❤
Hope your studies are going well! Stay safe and be happy! Cheryl
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😃Yes cheryl school is going gr8! You stay safe as well🤗🤗
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More people need to read this poem. People too often judge others from what they see on the surface instead of what’s underneath. The world would be a much better place if we all saw humans as souls instead of bodies – so many things like racism wouldn’t exist then.
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Thank you for your wonderful, astute comment, thewheelchairteen! ❤ You are so right about seeing people "as souls instead of bodies!" The world would be a much better place if discrimination and racism didn't exist! Wishing you a great day! Cheryl
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Great write Cheryl, truely very nice! If the whole world should magically change like this, it would be such a beautiful place to inhabit. As you mention, to hold someone accountable he/ she needs to be judged, but the judgement should be delivered with knowledge of both sides of the coin, over needs to stand in the others shoes to understand the others circumstances.
I am reminded of two books which are very dear to me, not directly related, but there were related aspects.
1. To sir with love – by E R Braithwaite.
2. To kill a mockingbird – Harper Lee.
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Thank you so much, Deb, for your well-reasoned response. I am grateful to you for your support, and I am glad you liked the post. ❤
Utopia is a beautiful ideal, but I believe that change comes first in individual hearts and minds. Good leaders can help to accelerate positive changes. I am hoping they soon appear on the scene!
Thank you for sharing the two books. I have read To Kill a Mockingbird, but not To Sir with Love. I have seen both movies several times, and think they are both excellent. Their themes of equality and justice make them dear to me as well.
We are still having incidents here of police killing suspects who pose no threat to them, allowing no chance of a fair trial for the accused. Violence is deliberately incited at the highest level. Corruption and violence are present to a degree not seen since the fifties. Combine that with the pandemic, and you have a truly horrific era.
I wish you and your family all the best! A brighter future for all! Cheryl
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I read of these incidents from all around the world with increased distress Cheryl! And keep dreaming of the Utopia you mention, hope we get there sometime – but currently we seem to be running away from that.
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You’re so right. We never can know.
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Eliza, with a little effort and patience, we can know a little bit about a person. I know you to be an intelligent, compassionate person with a lot of determination. And I admire all of that. ❤ 🙂 ❤ ❤ 🙂 ****** Cheryl
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Love your neighbor as yourself. This is true for everyone, even if it sometimes seems difficult.
Very good poem,Cheryl.
Love ❤
Michel
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The Golden Rule is what I strive to live by, Michel. Loving your neighbor is key! We certainly agree on that! ❤ Thank you for your kind comments on the poem. So glad you like it. Have a great evening!
Love ❤
Cheryl
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These are such precious words. We should all strive to be a little more forgiving. If only we could…
Have a blessed week my friend!
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Thank you, Pene, for your kind comments and good wishes! ❤ I agree that forgiveness is important. 🙂 Being forgiven helps you forgive yourself and become a better person. Forgiving someone else removes grudges and puts your mind at peace. And you are right…"if only we could." Sometimes it is hard to forgive. All the best! Cheryl
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Not only all of the above…but also – poems are a literary art form that can and often should touch on ‘sensitive’ subjects…so while I understand your reticence on how it might have been received, it was written well and speaks to everyday issues that sometimes are overlooked.
You pulled it off without sounding judgemental – the very issue you’re addressing!
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Laura, Your kind and well-considered response is very much appreciated. I had put the poem aside several times but finally decided to post it because I believed the issues are important and timely. Thank you again for reading and sharing your views. ❤ All the best! Cheryl
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Loved reading this poem Cheryl. Indeed we sometimes ignore those around us for our musings. We sometimes become selfish and wilfully take them for granted. An eye opening poem. Thank you so much for sharing. 😇
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Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts on the poem. 🙂 I agree that we are often oblivious to the problems of those around us. We judge them based on surface factors and move on. I very much appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. ❤ All the best! Cheryl
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😇
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This poem very well tells the need to stand in their shoes before jumping into a conclusion. Absolutely beautiful, Mam! ❣
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Thank you so much, Anisha, for your kind, generous comment. ❤ I am so happy that you could relate to the poem. 🙂
Stay well and be happy! Cheryl
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This is so well penned cheryl. A lot of emotions and feelings brought out in words..!🥰❤
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Thank you, Akshita, for sharing your kind thoughts. It means a lot to me that you like the poem! ❤ I hope all is well with you. Cheryl 🙂
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It was my great pleasure cheryl.🥰🥰
Yes, I’m doing well too cheryl, hoping the same from your side as well🙂❤
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I love it so much, we are here to live own life. Judging is not our job for sure we can’t do it. It is his job. Our job is to satisfy him I believe. And above all when we start loving we stop judging. Thanks for this post ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Subbashini, I so agree that “when we start loving we stop judging.” Thank you for your valuable comments. ❤
It means a lot to me that you like the poem. ❤ ❤ ❤ 🙂 🙂 🙂 Take care, Cheryl
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We really never know what others are going/have gone through unless they choose to tell us. Even then, they might not even realize what things are really causing their own emotions and behaviors, I know sometimes it took me years to realize why I acted in certain ways or did certain things, and I still haven’t figured out some of it lol.
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Maranda, Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. ❤ I totally agree with you that we can never fully understand ourselves or others. But we can gain some insight and understanding. Simply being aware that there are reasons for behavior allows us to be kind to ourselves and others. Thank you again for sharing your valuable comments. All the best! Cheryl
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Well written a beautiful and much needed idea!
There is something with that coffee seller part that it stroke hard.😥
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Chetna, thank you for sharing your thoughts. ❤ Your comment about the coffee seller shows a kind heart. ❤ There are people we see every day. We are friendly enough with them, but the conversation rarely goes beyond pleasantries. Some people may ignore them or even be rude. I think we should always be kind in our brief interactions with people. Saying "Thank you" costs us nothing, and a smile is free. That is the least we can do. 🙂 Take care, Cheryl
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Your poem touched my heart & now I feel that how quickly people jump to the assumptions and judge others & how difficult it would have been for the them who are still suffering from this or have suffered from this. Also, thinking about such problems & penning them down in such a beautiful way is not an easy job but you truly nailed it. Huge respect & love to you, Cheryl❣️
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Jahnvi, thank you so much for your beautiful and generous words. ❤ I truly appreciate your taking the time to read and respond! Yes, it was hard for me to write about these issues, but I felt that they needed to be discussed. 🙂
All the best! Stay safe and be happy! Cheryl
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Yeah! Thank you!
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Wonderful words! Immediately brought to mind John 8:10-11 “When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”
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Thank you, William, for sharing this example of not condemning others and of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a wonderful thing! Being forgiven and forgiving yourself allows you to become a better person. Forgiving others brings peace of mind. All the best! Cheryl
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So true. Beautiful read.
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Thank you for your kind comment, Kritika! ❤ I am so glad you liked this! 🙂 I hope you are doing well! Cheryl
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My pleasure always kindly 🙂
I am doing good. Thank you for asking. 🙂 (Heart)
Take Care 🙂
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Very powerful. Really felt for the girl who comfort-ate.
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Lawrence, I so appreciate your kind response. 🙂 Though the girl is fictional, I think she has many real-life counterparts. Stay safe and be happy. It looks like we are in this for the long haul!
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Good examples to illustrate that it’s important to keep an open mind. We don’t know what someone else might be going through. But we do need to be safe. Not mean, but safe.
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Thank you, JoAnna, for sharing your helpful insights. I totally agree with you about keeping an open mind. In the examples involving breaking the law, safety may well be a concern. The others are mainly harming themselves.
Have a great week! ❤
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Awesome poem,cheryl. The words are wonderful.👌
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That is such a kind and generous comment, Murali. I really appreciate it! ❤ So glad you like the poem! ❤
All the best to you!
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Loved the beauty of your paradigm in this poem. None is the villain in their own story, perhaps they are just trying to do their best according to their situation and circumstances. Well done Cheryl! 🤗👏
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Thank you, Sidharth, for taking the time to read and comment. ❤ I am so glad you liked the poem. I appreciate and totally agree with your thoughtful comments! 🙂 All the best!
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excellent post & reminder – many tx Cheryl
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Thank you, da-AL, for your kind comment! Have a great weekend! ❤
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you too, dear – & soon a great start to your week ❤
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A smile, a kind greeting, stopping to listen: Gifts we can give that can mean more than we’ll ever know. It is not for us to judge, but to show love and compassion so that we can lift each other up from whatever may be ailing us.
Thank you for sharing these words. ❤
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Hamish, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Yes, I agree that a little kindness goes a long way. Judging is usually counterproductive, I think. 🙂 Have a great week ❤
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Beautiful work❤️❤️
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Thank you so much for your kind comment, lilbluepengin! Glad you liked the poem! ❤ All the best!
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The writeup is great in triggering a much desired thought process analysing the merits of the circumstances of the crime in question! Thanks for sharing ❤️
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DS. thank you so much for your kind comment! I am glad you found the poem thought-provoking! ❤ I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. 🙂 All the best!
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Such a potent reminder!
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle they may not announce to the world. A silent battle that is ravaging them on the inside.
A little kindness would go a long way!
Thank you such a beautiful poem, Cheryl😍
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A.B., Thank you so much for your kind remarks! Very much appreciated. ❤ So glad you liked the poem. All the best!
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