by Cheryl Batavia

Grandparents…Was it Love?

Vintage Phonograph. Grandma was a “flapper” with bobbed hair and rolled-down hose, and she loved to dance! I don’t know how my grandparents met, but it might well have been at a dance. Maybe they listened to music on a phonograph like this. Photo by Sudhith Xavier from Unsplash.

Grandpa, born about 1898, worked in steel mills all around Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania as a young man. He bought an early car and travelled to Chicago to learn how to maintain it. There were no repair shops then. In a time when most people didn’t go to school beyond the eighth grade, Grandpa had graduated from high school. He loved to read and continued to educate himself throughout his life.

My grandmother, about ten years younger than Grandpa, was only able to attend school through second grade because she had to take care of her younger sisters while her single mother worked. At twelve years of age, she went to work as a hotel maid to help support her family. In her teens, she worked as a lifeguard. During her brief time in school, she had learned to read, and, like Grandpa, she continued to educate herself as long as she lived.

Grandparents…Was it Love?

Sweethearts,

Roaring Twenties.

Flapper, aged seventeen,

ladies’ man, aged twenty-seven,

were wed.

Wild days…

Prohibition…

brewing beer, making wine…

before they got religion and

reformed!

Hard times…

Great Depression…

working to raise two sons.

Hard work, sheer determination,

true grit!

Grandma:

gardener, seamstress,

home nurse, cleaning lady,

restaurant cook, Sunday School

teacher.

Success,

prosperity,

respectability…

Grandpa in construction bussiness…

Good times!

Empty Nest.

On the dresser,

just two photos displayed…

Methodist preacher, state trooper…

their sons!

Big dreams!

My grandparents,

always flipping houses,

painting, papering, plastering…

Moving!

Dream house!

Grandma, Grandpa…

joint effort, as always,

rehabbing Grandma’s childhood home.

Last house!

Grandkids

spending time there

made childhood memories:

fresh eggs, strawberries, handmade clothes,

laughter!

Retired.

Grandfathering,

fishing, golfing, dart games,

classes, reading, enjoying life…

Happy days!

Married

fifty-some years.

Did they love each other?

Public displays of affection…

not seen.

Grandpa,

when diagnosed

with Parkinson’s Disease,

patiently taught Grandma to drive.

That’s love!

Grandma,

when Grandpa died,

placed a carved-heart headstone,

pink granite with both of their names.

That’s love!

Grandma

had a business.

Gift shops carried her handmade

Raggedy Anne and Andy dolls.

Lovely!

Grandma,

for twenty years,

lived to bring others joy,

hoping to join Grandpa one day.

That’s love!

Copyright© 2023 by Cheryl Batavia

This is the first of three posts about my paternal grandparents.

55 Comments

  3. Unknown's avatar

    Beautifully penned, Cheryl! ❤️ I got very emotional. I only met one of my grandparents and he died when I was very young. I wished I had memories spent with a grandmother. Luckily, my children had a wonderful grandmother (my mother), but she died too soon. Thank you, Cheryl! ✨️ Fir both the story and the poem. You’ve made my day! I hope yours is great, too!

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      Filipa, I am sorry you didn’t get to know your grandparents. That is also the case with my mother’s parents. I wish I had known them. All I have is the wonderful stories told to me by my mother. 🙂

      Having lost my husband while our children were young, I feel your loss. Beautiful memories are a great comfort. You can help preserve the treasured memories of your mother for your children. ❤ ❤ ❤

      Thank you, Filipa, for your kind words. Have a great week!

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  7. Unknown's avatar

    What a lovely post and a lovelier poem, Cheryl! Erecting a heart-shaped headstone is so touching. I had no opportunity to see my grandparents, but I had seen my parents. PDA was conspicuous by its absence in those days. Thank you, Cheryl for sharing this beautiful post 💖💐

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      Thank you, KK, for such a kind and thoughtful response. ❤ Glad you enjoyed the post.

      As a child of the peace and love days of the "sixties," I wondered why my grandparents never showed affection. As time went on, I grew to appreciate the depth of their love for each other. Theirs was a true partnership in life.

      Wishing you a great week! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. Unknown's avatar

        We change with time. Love existed every time, but expressions varied from time to time. My parents were shy in expressing love. I was also not that frank, as my children are now. Thank you, Cheryl, for raising a very interesting issue.🙏❤️🙏

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Unknown's avatar

      As I read the comments of those who never knew their grandparents, I realized just how lucky we were to have grandparents in our lives. I didn’t know my mother’s parents.

      I am happy that you had a loving aunt playing the role of your grandmother, making happy childhood memories. ❤

      Thank you, Eugi, for your beautiful comment! ❤ Have a lovely week!

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  10. Unknown's avatar

    One of my grandmothers (Nana) was a flapper also…kindof like saying ‘feminist’ or ‘hippie’ in describing certain times in my own life. I’ve always loved that and the fact that after she became a young widow she supported her two daughters (one of which was my Ma) as a policewoman in an Evanston area precinct back when such positions were not filled by women…just sayin’.
    🙂
    So Cheryl, our grandmothers were quite extraordinary IMHO!

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      Laura, thank you so much for sharing the story of your very extraordinary Nana! How impressive and inspiring! A lot to try to live up to. I know I try to live up to my grandmother’s example even now!

      I was not a hippie, but I certainly was a feminist and an independent thinker, and still am! I suspect you are too! ❤ You go, Girl! 🙂

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  16. Unknown's avatar

    Cheryl, thank you for this emotional poem.
    It touched my heart. I was lucky enough to know three of my grandparents. The other grandfather died when he was a young man.
    My grandparents had very hard and difficult times in life, but they never gave up.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      Thank you, Rosie, for sharing your thoughts. I almost never cry, but remembering, as I wrote this poem, the very difficult times my grandparents lived through brought me to tears. It is inspiring that our grandparents never gave up and found ways to survive.

      All the best! Have a beautiful day! ❤ ❤ ❤

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  18. Unknown's avatar

    Lovely to read about your grandparents. So beautiful. I feel like it belongs in a movie. My grandmother was also of the flapper generation… 1 of 6 children, orphaned at 14. She did a typing course and became an office worker at 15. She was 3rd eldest and helped support the younger children through school. She died 2 weeks after I was born so I didn’t get to know her sadly but she wrote beautiful letters which are in my possession now ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      Your grandmother went to work very early and assumed adult responsibilities very early, as my grandmother did. It must have been hard going to typing classes so soon after losing her mother. I am so sorry you didn’t get to know her. I am glad you have the family stories and the letters.

      Thank you, Morag, for sharing your family stories. How inspiring that our forebears rose to the considerable challenges of their lives! ❤ ❤ ❤

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      1. Unknown's avatar

        Yes, looking back, and sharing stories with each other, is very inspiring, especially considering that women were treated so differently to us women. Thank you for initiating the line of thought. 💐👏❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  19. Unknown's avatar

    A balmy comforting post. Grandparents and their love story. It is so interesting to listen to them. How they grew and how they met. What all did they do. So much more to imagine for children. Thank you for sharing the love story. Beautiful.

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    1. Unknown's avatar

      What a lovely response, Kritika! Remembering all the hard times our grandparents went through as I was writing this brought tears to my eyes! How they overcame those challenges is inspiring to the generations that follow. 🙂

      Each era has its own challenges. It pains me to think that I will be leaving behind a world where there are increasingly severe storms, fires, floods, and all the other degradations of our planet ❤ I wish them courage and the will to heal the Earth. ❤

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