Since May, I have been dealing with multiple health issues. Robert has been taking care of me, even though he is also experiencing health challenges. I like to think we are taking care of each other, but the truth is, he has been doing more for me this time around.
Thank you, Robert, for your wisdom, your humor, and your kindness. Thank you for always being there for me.
A comment on a recent post, “Approaching Age 77: Reflections on the Meaning of Life” caused me to dig a little deeper. Laura Bruno Lily commented …”I am especially attuned to your poems, ‘Empathy’ and ‘Legacy’ in this moment.”As I wrote a response, my comment got longer and longer until it grew into this post. Thank you, Laura!
Over the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly empathetic. At the same time, I realized that I have unwittingly been insensitive to others in the past. I guess that is the uncomfortable aspect of getting wiser as you age.
I remember, at the beginning of the Independent Living Movement, watching the news and seeing people demonstrating in Washington, DC for their civil rights. As a young working mother struggling in the workplace, I wondered why in the world they were so eager to work!
Drew Batavia with Joe and Katey Batavia
About a decade later, I moved to DC and became a 24/7 live-in caregiver for Drew Batavia, a young quadriplegic attorney who was active in the Independent Living Movement. I was there beside him every step of the way, traveling with him to conferences and speaking engagements domestically and internationally, documenting inaccessabe street crossings and businesses all over DC, proofreading articles and books.
Most of those years I was a fulltime student, and later, a fulltime teacher. After I became a teacher, I always continued to care for Drew on nights and weekends to give us a private life.
Seven years after meeting, we married, moved to Miami Beach, and adopted a Russian brother and sister. Drew and I shared eighteen years together before Drew died at the age of forty-two.
Concern with legacy is a recognition of our mortality, but recognition of mortality also results in increasing empathy for those we may leave behind.We wish to shield them from making some of the same mistakes we have made, knowing full well that we must all make our own mistakes and learn from them. Still, it’s always worth a try!
I remember my grandfather, when I was in high school. He took me to practice driving in a parking lot in his huge, ten-year-old, metallic baby blue Cadillac. Wanting to protect me from making mistakes, he shared some of his regrets. I cherish those precious times spent with Grandpa, but ultimately, I still had to make my own mistakes.
If you can benefit from the mistakes of others, especially when you are young, I think you are pretty smart! I also believe you are truly exceptional!
My children, Katey, Ellen, and Joe visit with my mother, Marian, in Winchester, Virginia. Photo taken around 1997.Christmastime in Hollywood, Florida. My mother and my children. First Christmas in the US for Katey and Joe after they arrived from Russia in early October, 1996.
Wishing a Joyous Mother’s Day to Mothers and Families Everywhere!
I am overjoyed to be celebrating Mother’s Day with my daughters on the annual road trip we have missed for the last two years due to Robert’s and my illnesses. My daughters are giving me the swim with the dolphins in the Keys that I missed last year as a Mother’s Day gift. My daughter Katey is making me photo albums with old and new family photos for Mother’s Day. We will be taking two boat tours in Everglades National Park. I plan on eating a little Key lime pie and hopefully, seeing some flamingos.
Our visit will be from 5/14- 5/20. I will share a post on our trip after we return.
I am also looking forward to a Mother’s day call from my son. We will celebrate when we can!
Ellen and Katey with Skipper the Dolphin at Theater of the Sea last year.
Robert and I have been together for eleven very happy years since that meeting at Chili’s. I was sixty-five, and he was sixty-six when we met. My husband had been dead for over twelve years before I started dating, and I had nearly given up on ever finding a soul mate… someone with whom I have so much in common!
Cheryl and Robert at Mary Margaret’s Tea Room, Arcadia, Florida
Wonders
Wonders: Poems about Love and Relationships was my first book. It is a tribute to the wonderful, though very different, men I have known and loved. There is a chapter of poems written for each individual man.
If I were to rate Wonders, I would probably give it a G, or maybe PG13.
It is a book without photos. One day, I would like to see it become an audiobook.
Robert will be 77 on September 20, 2025. I wanted to share Robert’s homemade birthday card with you. Though we are going through some challenges, health-wise and otherwise, we are OK and expect to come out alright. I am working on a lot of projects.
When life slows down again, I hope to be more active on the blog. I am looking forward to that day! 💕🌈 💕 I miss you!
Last September, recently discharged from the hospital and recovering from quintuple bypass heart surgery, I had very limited energy. Robert’s birthday was in a few days. I always write poems and make cards for him for his birthday and Valentine’s Day. “Well, I think I can write a haiku, at least!” I decided.
My recovery includes a daily walking program. Because of Robert’s COPD, post-polio, heart problems, and other issues, Robert can now only walk short distances. Many times he walks a short way with me, and I continue the walk on my own.
Having Robert walk with me brings me happiness and encouragement. This is the poem I wrote for Robert’s birthday and printed out on white copy paper…no handmade card this time. I put it on his computer keyboard where he would find it when he woke.
I was hospitalized again in November to stent two of the grafts that had become blocked. By Valentine’s Day, though, a longer poem and a handmade card were back! Robert keeps all of the cards I make in his office. He even kept this haiku printed out on plain white paper…and I keep all the cards he has ever given me!
Gulf Coast Poet 