Empathy & Legacy; Backstory

Photo by Ayrus Hill from Unsplash

Empathy & Legacy

Experience enlightens over years.

Our pain reveals our vulnerability.

Our empathy grows as others shed tears;

All members of the human family.

Recognition of our mortality

brings empathy for those we’ll leave behind.

We struggle to ensure our legacy,

remembered as accomplished, wise, and kind.

Advice may be ignored by those we love

who choose to make their own mistakes, their way.

Confronting consequences later proves

the wisdom of kind warnings made today.

It’s futile overthinking legacy.

We live our values; they tell our story!

Photo, National Cancer Institute from Unsplash

Backstory

Approaching Age 77: Reflections on the Meaning of Life

A comment on a recent post, “Approaching Age 77: Reflections on the Meaning of Life” caused me to dig a little deeper. Laura Bruno Lily commented …”I am especially attuned to your poems, ‘Empathy’ and ‘Legacy’ in this moment.”As I wrote a response, my comment got longer and longer until it grew into this post. Thank you, Laura!


Over the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly empathetic. At the same time, I realized that I have unwittingly been insensitive to others in the past. I guess that is the uncomfortable aspect of getting wiser as you age.

I remember, at the beginning of the Independent Living Movement, watching the news and seeing people demonstrating in Washington, DC for their civil rights. As a young working mother struggling in the workplace, I wondered why in the world they were so eager to work!

Drew Batavia with Joe and Katey Batavia

About a decade later, I moved to DC and became a 24/7 live-in caregiver for Drew Batavia, a young quadriplegic attorney who was active in the Independent Living Movement. I was there beside him every step of the way, traveling with him to conferences and speaking engagements domestically and internationally, documenting inaccessabe street crossings and businesses all over DC, proofreading articles and books.

Most of those years I was a fulltime student, and later, a fulltime teacher. After I became a teacher, I always continued to care for Drew on nights and weekends to give us a private life.

Seven years after meeting, we married, moved to Miami Beach, and adopted a Russian brother and sister. Drew and I shared eighteen years together before Drew died at the age of forty-two.


Concern with legacy is a recognition of our mortality, but recognition of mortality also results in increasing empathy for those we may leave behind.We wish to shield them from making some of the same mistakes we have made, knowing full well that we must all make our own mistakes and learn from them. Still, it’s always worth a try!

I remember my grandfather, when I was in high school. He took me to practice driving in a parking lot in his huge, ten-year-old, metallic baby blue Cadillac. Wanting to protect me from making mistakes, he shared some of his regrets. I cherish those precious times spent with Grandpa, but ultimately, I still had to make my own mistakes.

If you can benefit from the mistakes of others, especially when you are young, I think you are pretty smart! I also believe you are truly exceptional!


Copyright© 2026 by Cheryl Batavia

Photo by Masoud Razeghi from Unsplash
Photo by Yerlin Matu from Unsplash

Please share in the comments. What values are most important to you right now ?

Perfect Mothers? Perfect Children?

My children, Katey, Ellen, and Joe visit with my mother, Marian, in Winchester, Virginia. Photo taken around 1997.
Christmastime in Hollywood, Florida. My mother and my children. First Christmas in the US for Katey and Joe after they arrived from Russia in early October, 1996.

Perfect Mothers? Perfect Children?

No perfect parents,

no perfect children exist!

But love perfects us.

Love brings us perfect joy in

a world of imperfection.


Copyright © 2026 by Cheryl Batavia

Happy Mother’s Day!

I am overjoyed to be celebrating Mother’s Day with my daughters on the annual road trip we have missed for the last two years due to Robert’s and my illnesses. My daughters are giving me the swim with the dolphins in the Keys that I missed last year as a Mother’s Day gift. My daughter Katey is making me photo albums with old and new family photos for Mother’s Day. We will be taking two boat tours in Everglades National Park. I plan on eating a little Key lime pie and hopefully, seeing some flamingos.

Our visit will be from 5/14- 5/20. I will share a post on our trip after we return.

I am also looking forward to a Mother’s day call from my son. We will celebrate when we can!

Ellen and Katey with Skipper the Dolphin at Theater of the Sea last year.

Ellen and Katey Meet Skipper, the Dolphin: Shallow Water Dolphin Swim, Theater of the Sea, Islamorada, FL

Netting in Lemon Bay, Reblog

Left to Right: Gulf of Mexico, Manasota Key, Lemon Bay. Photo by Jin from Adobe Stock

Netting in Lemon Bay

For several hours that morning, in blazing sun,

our group waded in the knee-deep muck

of Lemon Bay, netting sea creatures

and collecting them in pails. Then we gathered

on shore with the naturalist to observe and

discuss the animals we had found:

juvenile flounder, shrimp, tiny crabs…

I left a bit early because I had a lunch date

with a man who lived nearby.

We had been communicating on Plenty of Fish

and were meeting for the first time.

Woops! There were no showers at the park!

I cleaned up the best I could with a wet towel.

Still sweaty on top and muddy on the bottom,

I went to meet my date at Chili’s.

We met in the parking lot with a hug

and a kiss on the cheek, not my usual handshake.

We talked for two hours over chicken fajitas.

Time flew by! I felt I had known him forever!

…That’s how I met my soul mate!

Reprinted from Life in Inspiring Places


Copyright© 2019 by Cheryl Batavia


Robert and I have been together for eleven very happy years since that meeting at Chili’s. I was sixty-five, and he was sixty-six when we met. My husband had been dead for over twelve years before I started dating, and I had nearly given up on ever finding a soul mate… someone with whom I have so much in common!

Favorite Photos

Flowers from Robert and Robert’s hat on my dining table soon after we met.

Favorite Photos

Some photos retain their magic,

their power to evoke memories

and affections awakened

some time ago.

Robert, I never thought

I would love a man

who wore his hat indoors

or went to bed with his socks on.

This photo reminds me

how quickly I changed my mind

when I met you!

Maybe it was the flowers…

and a thousand other things!

I’ll love you always.


Copyright © 2026 by Cheryl Batavia

This photo was taken in 2014. The poem was one of the first written for Robert and made into a card.

When the Sun Shines

Photo by Nikita Tikhomirov from Unsplash

When the Sun Shines

When the sun shines, I love you.

When the rain falls, I love you.

When the wind blows, I love you.

In the moonlight, I love you.

In the starlight, I love you.

In the dark of night, I love you.

In the hurricanes of life, you are there.

When all of nature smiles, you are there.

Every moment of my life is better

because you are there!


Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️

Love to our soulmates,

to friends and family,

to fellow bloggers.

Love and Joy to the world!

Wonders: Poems about Love and Relationships by Cheryl Batavia

Book Review by Yolanda Nicholson

Cheryl and Robert at Mary Margaret’s Tea Room, Arcadia, Florida


Wonders: Poems about Love and Relationships was my first book. It is a tribute to the wonderful, though very different, men I have known and loved. There is a chapter of poems written for each individual man.

If I were to rate Wonders, I would probably give it a G, or maybe PG13.

It is a book without photos. One day, I would like to see it become an audiobook.

Happy Birthday, Robert!


Photo by stephan-gogov-TcAigacJxHA from Unsplash


Copyright© 2025 by Cheryl Batavia


To my Fellow Bloggers,

Robert will be 77 on September 20, 2025. I wanted to share Robert’s homemade birthday card with you. Though we are going through some challenges, health-wise and otherwise, we are OK and expect to come out alright. I am working on a lot of projects.

When life slows down again, I hope to be more active on the blog. I am looking forward to that day! 💕🌈 💕 I miss you!

Warm Regards,

Cheryl

Coming Soon!

Walking Hand-in-Hand

Photo by Roman Kraft from Unsplash

Walking Hand-in-Hand

Walking hand-in-hand…

Even a short stroll with you

means the world to me!


Copyright© 2025 by Cheryl Batavia


Robert’s 2024 Birthday Poem

Last September, recently discharged from the hospital and recovering from quintuple bypass heart surgery, I had very limited energy. Robert’s birthday was in a few days. I always write poems and make cards for him for his birthday and Valentine’s Day. “Well, I think I can write a haiku, at least!” I decided.

My recovery includes a daily walking program. Because of Robert’s COPD, post-polio, heart problems, and other issues, Robert can now only walk short distances. Many times he walks a short way with me, and I continue the walk on my own.

Having Robert walk with me brings me happiness and encouragement. This is the poem I wrote for Robert’s birthday and printed out on white copy paper…no handmade card this time. I put it on his computer keyboard where he would find it when he woke.

I was hospitalized again in November to stent two of the grafts that had become blocked. By Valentine’s Day, though, a longer poem and a handmade card were back! Robert keeps all of the cards I make in his office. He even kept this haiku printed out on plain white paper…and I keep all the cards he has ever given me!